When I can't sleep, I think deep thoughts

Now, it has been a LONG time since I have last written here. It is Saturday, May 17, 4:19AM, and I'm wide awake and felt the strongest urge to write. I may not be the greatest writer to blog, but I you can expect honesty, and (hopefully) proper grammar. Lots has changed since I have last written, from a new edition to the family, seeing my ex Mario, and totally realizing how much my life is screwed with him around. I'm also closer to graduation, and have made new friends, and lived with new roommates. 

I have to write down what I have been thinking about lately. I turned 21 last July, and since then I can't stop thinking what I am supposed to do with my life. I think what I want long term, and what I want RIGHT NOW. 

Long Term:
1.Temple Marriage to an honest, kind man. 
2. Have children
3. Have an actual career, not a 40 hours per week Job, but a career where I can make a difference of any kind. (My major is Early Child/ Special Education) 

Short Term:
1. A meaningful relationship 
2. To feel secure
3. Find out who I am and what matters most to me

You see, I think I have my basics down when it comes to who I am. I know I am a Daughter of God, my family is everything and without them I am nothing. Right now, that is all I have. 
I made some mistakes regarding school, I didn't take care of my depression, and resulted in my not taking care of my education career. I'm going home in a few days because my education has to be put on pause. When I got the news of this, I KNEW that school really does matter to me. I pride myself in nothing but the morals taught to me by my parents and church, and what is in my mind. Why not fill my mind with knowledge, and take that knowledge and let it become wisdom? I have always liked learning, and exploring what is really out there. While scrolling on Facebook a few minutes ago I found this video. 

I do not know why this video made me melt, made me cry, and gave me something I haven't felt in awhile, Hope. This glorious (handsome) man made such an inspiring video with one word, and few videos.  MOVE. That's all he decided he say along his video, MOVE. 

Move. Move? Move, move, move, and move. This word is stuck in my head. Move. Move. 

Because of this man, I want to MOVE. He made me realize that I really don't want to let this depression to keep me in bed, to eat me alive. I WANT TO BE ALIVE. 

I decided I am going to travel. Whether its next month, or next year, it is going to happen. Why not see what God has created on this Earth, and see how Humanity has evolved. I'm going to be smart about this people, I mean I so don't want to end up in Human Trafficking. I need to figure out what I want to see, and what it is I want out my travels. All I know is that this, Traveling the World, is what I 

I'll keep you updated,

Pinky Promise.